Thursday, September 21

Jury Duty: Day One

So when you're serving Jury Duty, most of the day is spent waiting. I pictured the DMV going in, but really, JD is not quite so bad at all. (I don't really want to imply that it was fun, but at least I did get to sit while waiting.)

I was part of the first "call" to be a perspective juror on an assault case. All jurors have to participate in voir dire. That's French for "listen talk" -- but since I haven't spoken French in awhile, and spoke it poorly when I did, take that translation with a shakerful of salt. Anyway, there are a lot of questions the judge asks of each perspective juror: were you a victim of a crime? Are you related to a cop? Where do you live? Where are you from? What's your job? Are you married?

It's kind of like dating, but not, because no one's ever asked me if I were related to a cop on a first date. One of the questions is: What are your hobbies? How do you spend your free time?

FUN FACT: the hobby of every single person in New York county is reading or pilates. Seriously. Every person. (Well, except for the one weird guy whose hobby was his kids. Creepy.) Some people shook things up by saying they had two hobbies: reading AND pilates. And sure enough, when they asked me, my little cracking voice said, "Um, I like to read. And um, bicycle?" And seriously, I think if I'd ever done pilates in my life I would have just substituted that in.

Monday, September 18

iTunes

So I did the upgrade to the new iTunes. But on my work computer only -- the thing's a Dell toy. Worse, a nearly broken toy that fans itself and whirs entirely more loudly than it should.

I made the upgrade because a coworker had: thanks Apple for that cool new feature where different versions of iTunes are no longer compatible. Sans coworker, my work music became a third of its former self.

Anyway, all that to say that damn! the new 'tunes is busy. There's so many things that I can click on accidentally. And all my settings were erased by the upgrade. I'd no idea how I'd miss my original preferences until they were gone.

Wednesday, September 13

Tequila: Miracle Alcohol

The amazing thing about tequila is that it's the only alcohol that makes you feel more awake.

No. Really, it's true. Or, alternately, this is a factoid that I heard once when I was drunk, and now it will forever seem true to me.

Anyway, when I proposed this fact at the start of the mouse's party, at least one person believed me and proposed a shot. I thought he was joking, but then, like magic: classy tequila shots presented in champagne glasses rimmed in salt.

It only took four more minutes for me to propose that a site might exist called madeleinesvagina.org that possessed all the secrets of womanhood. Apparently my vag is an organization lately. When Jen heard this, she said with an expression of shock, "Oh, Madeleine's getting DRUNK tonight!

Monday, September 4

I Am So Cheerful! I am FULL of Cheer!

Thanks all, for your patience during my radio silence the past week or so. It felt a little bit to me like my inner monologue was missing. Hmm, maybe that's stretching things. A big thank you to everyone who got in touch with me after seeing this post (you do realize you just validated my public whining, right?). Seriously: Thank you.

Here's how Seth felt about radio silence & my general pissiness:

Seth: I like emoticons on IM. They're a good way to approximate tone of voice.
Mad.: I think they're terrible. Why don't people just write better, and convey their tone with their words, instead of an AOL sponsored emotive-face. God. That might be what's making America terrible. We can't even communicate anymore without a fucking winky smiley face! It makes me so cranky!
Seth: Umm, you do remember that you promised to be in a good mood September 1st, right? Cause it's REALLY public when you do things like that on the internets.

Happy Labor Day everyone! I'm back, and bring on your smiley face emoticons because I'm cheerful, cheerful, cheerful!