Friday, November 30

Start the Countdown

You'll recall that this is the blog of the world's laziest blogger* – not the world's most ambitious or creative blogger, and certainly not the most consistently updated blogger. But get ready for something very exciting. It's called: NaBloPoMo and it's an entire month when you blog once daily. (Basically, it's the lazy person's version of NaNoWri Mo, where you actually write a novel. In a month. The world's laziest blogger is certainly not yet capable of such novelistic creations.)

People: it will be awesome. More gross dental excavations in my mouth. More stories about pie failures & maybe successes. Hopefully not more stories of scary things people say about my ass on the street.

So, please get ready and prepare yourself for November 2008 when I will be blogging once a day. Start your countdown for a year from now, because nothing is better than an ambitious project deferred. Oh, wait, actually. . . Linda has started The Countdown already.

*this leads to all sorts of fun with referrers.

Tuesday, November 20

frankenpie

There's a definite right way to make pie. And then there's the frankenstein pie that J and I made last weekend. One of my favorite food bloggers posted incredibly helpful pie tips
on the very same night as our pie making adventures. Sadly that carrier pigeons did not arrive in my RSS reader until after I took a bit of the pie and said, "that's not flaky and delicious!"

I've been wanting to make a pie for awhile -- more because it seems like a fun project than out of desire to make pie. Once I achieve pie success, it will be promptly delivered to the Boy Who Loves Pie Most. But until I actually make a good pie, it seems silly to invest in equipment. As it turns out, that is Pie Making Mistake # 1.

Instead of buying a fancy schmancy pastry cutter, I used a fork.
But there's no sense saving money in favor of taste; the most important
thing with pie is that you handle the dough as little as possible. After all, you're talking about something with only THREE ingredients - fat, water, and flour. Mix those together incorrectly, and you're left with the familiar paper mache glue of grade school.

Pie Making Mistake #2 was either not adding enough water, or else, not refrigerating the dough long enough. And, finally, Pie Making Mistake # 3 -- the silliest -- was not baking the pie long enough. In fairness, we were watching an entertaining video, and I feared distraction-induced burnt pie.

All-in-all, the pie filling was tasty, but the crust can be improved. As you can see from above, making a pie can be deeply terrifying. Do not attempt until you have consumed a bottle of wine, otherwise you will have no rolling pin at all.

Monday, November 19

Metaleine


I'm so very metal. (Thanks to Linda; she's very clever.)

Sunday, November 11

I hate the cold. It's precisely around this time of year when I start wondering why I'm living in New York. I hate the cold so much that I'm ready to retire today, move to Florida, and begin my life of early bird specials and rounds of doctors' visits. If I move to a retirement community -- with a pool, obvs -- will you all come & visit me?