Thursday, December 6

Most Responsible Drunk Driver Ever

Last night I had a few drinks called "pink drinks" that were served in pint sized glasses. Everyone kept asking what exactly was within the pinkness. "Well, you start with half a glass of vodka, add some sprite, and then top it all off with grenadine. Or cranberry juice. Whichever, just so long as it's pink."

Although I am not old enough for the medicare offers that keep coming in the mail (26! Not 62!), I am old enough to know when a drink is a disaster. And yet I had two. And then a few more delicious beverages. I don't want to belabor this, because Thursday night quarterbacking of Wednesday night's drinking is boring. The important thing is to know that I was scheduled this morning for my first driving lesson.

And so at 4:40 AM, when I woke up so parched that I could swear my body was only 89% water instead of 98%, my overwhelming worry was that I would still be drunk come my 8:30 lesson. I just sat through the five hour driving class, which is mainly devoted to the evils of drinking & driving, and the benefits of seat belts, so I am as fully aware and educated about the dangers of alcohol as I will ever be.

Which also means that I knew coffee, hot shower, cold shower would do nothing for me potential drunkenness. So instead I tossed and turned my way 'till the morning only to have my instructor call me and cancel the class. Although I'm still an idiot when it comes to beverage selection, this bodes well for my future as a non-drunken driver. I think.

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